You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
