is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
