It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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