Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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