she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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