Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
