Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
