oh god the rape fog is back!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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