Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
