I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize