i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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