I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
