I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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