Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
