is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
