Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
