i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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