There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
