this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
