I want to walk on stilts...naked
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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