Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize