problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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