i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
