Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
