That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
