so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
