put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize