I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
