ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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