At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
