do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
