You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
