Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
