I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
