STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
