i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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