Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
