So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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