We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
