Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
