There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
not ubering you a puppy
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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