dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
