are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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