you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
