You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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