I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
