help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
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