I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
