Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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