I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
