I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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