You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize