garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Tell her she can't have a vagina
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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