I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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