he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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