do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
