my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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