You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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