Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
