so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
