I hope mine doesn't look like that
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
