i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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