I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
