just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
